Grandma here. Okay, so everyone keeps asking me to post recipes because there is “kitchen” in the name of this blog. So, thinking about the holidays coming up; I willpost a #screwballrecipe. There are multiple recipes for the #yule experience but I have one of my personal favorites: #ghettoeggnog

I don’t know about y’all or where you come from but where I come from it is very expensive to buy #eggnog. Yes it’s wonderful to have #eggnog at the holidays. Must be very festive for all of you rich folks to have #eggnog at the holidays too! Some people can go out and just buy it by the gallon and everybody drink as much as they want and spike it with whatever their favorite flavor of liquor is. How nice!
However…. the rest of us can’t afford that. Or there’s something wrong with the idea like we can’t let the kids drink it, or somebody’s got a special diet and can’t have that much sugar or whatever.
So we’ve come up with a solution and it is called #ghettoeggnog
The best part of this recipe is you can fix it to suit yourself and make it in a flash just before anybody shows up so here’s how it goes:
Take one package of sugar free instant vanilla pudding. You mix that (hopefully in a blender if you have one…most good alcoholics do)
So add your pudding mix to whatever the food pantry gave you: a bit canned milk or powdered milk or whole milk or whatever you happen to have. Ths is handy for the #lactosefree folks because you can do this with almond milk, or soy milk, or even coconut milk. Now mix twice as much milk as the directions on the box calls for with the pudding mix really well and let it sit for about 10 minutes until it gets thick. Then add more milk and continue to mix it until you’ve got it watered down. Then sprinkle nutmeg on top. For those of you that don’t know this, you don’t have to have nutmeg. You can always borrow a pinch from the neighbor or you can get a little cinnamon, or you can get some pumpkin pie spice…. just dig around in Grandma’s cupboard and see what she’s got to make for a lovely #eggnog.
Now when you are done, if it`s too thick for you just add a little bit more milk and you can give it to the kids. But when you make your glass you can add your whiskey or Rum or whatever you want straight to your #eggnog…..however you choose to fix it. You can do all this for a fraction of the cost of actual #eggnog and you’d be surprised how close to real #eggnog it actually tastes.
So one more time for you special kids…
Sugar free vanilla Instant pudding mix
Put in blender
Add twice as much milk as the package calls for
Mix and let sit for 10 minutes
Sprinkle in only about 1/4 teaspoon of some sort of stuff like nutmeg or cinnamon or pumpkin pie spice whatever #grandmaaintwatching
If it’s for the kids then you have to stop right there.
If it’s for you, then add booze. Mix again and see if it’s thick enough for you. If it’s too thick add some more milk and taste.
Stop whining! I told you it was #ghettoeggnog
Tah dah!
And if your guests laugh at your beautiful #ghettoeggnog then you can just #hideyourrum and tell them that McDonald’s is right up the fucking street from #screwballkitchen and your #ghettoeggnog milkshake is #stayinindisyard #chump #richfolks #fucktards
Well that`s all the excitement I can handle for today. Happy drinking!