Holiday Newsletter

Welcome to the Screwballkitchen family holiday newsletter! It also doubles as a drinking game. So, pour yourself a glass of whatever and drink when it says #nowdrink
So apparently The Package ditched #superdawg and hopped on Random Airlines and has now arrived safely in Screwthatistan. She’s off to meet #SuperDude and gaze longingly into a volcano. I guess this is how they relieve stress. #thepackage #nowdrink
Precious is still gainfully employed in the great white North. Wish we could have Christmas together and celebrate the New Year but nobody wants to mess with the feng shui of that situation. #allgrownup #still working #madehisparentsproud #nosuchthingastoomuchsnow #precious #nowdrink
Dimples, too, is still gainfully employed in the great white North. Dimples still lives with Precious and things must be really getting serious because they now have a dog. Not sure if his name is Rex or Jumper but knowing Precious, he’s a pitbull mix of some form. Let’s just hope little puppy dog likes pot smoke. #legalizemarijuana #gladalliswell #plzdontpoopinthehouse #dimples #nowdrink
Poodles is babysitting the world’s most amazing granddog while The Package is in Screwthatistan. I am sure #superdawg is having a great time there without parents. I’m sure they’re having wonderful fun eating pepperoni pizza bites and listening to rap music #BigWin #poodles #superdawg #plzdontpoopinthehouse #chillinatthefrathouse #bitcheseverywhere #nowdrink
Wuffy and #WowMan put the tree up and decorated the house and the whole holiday thing. They have a ways to go in their organizational skills but they have come a long way. They are sometimes #stillassholes but whatever. They survived the year from hell and what they have accomplished was much more than most people suffer in a lifetime. #adulting #supermom #onedayatatime #diditsober #legallyblind #nowdrink
Took The Dumplings to some sort of new store where everything in it’s under 5 bucks which is great if you only plan on buying one thing. But, when you leave with 12 different things it has a tendency to get just a little bit pricey. Cool store though; it’s sort of like a Dollar Tree on crack. Washing a few dishes does not make one worthy of such an adventure. Next time the house better look like the cover of Better Homes and Gardens before we leave. #lessonlearned #thedumplings #NO #nowdrink
Friend of the family….age 25….had a heart attack from doing that “stuff”. Let that sink in … Age 25… Heart attack… The kid is okay now and we are all relieved. She is spending Christmas with her family. I would rather try to save them all than visit their graves. Great day to be alive. #drugsarebad #justsayno #drugaddictsarepeopletoo #marijuananotmeth #legalizemarijuana #nowdrink
Grandma made an assload of cookies. Not much variety they were all the same because organic cookie dough was what was passed out at the food pantry. Still very happy to have homemade organic cookies no matter what shape or size. Not that long ago we didn’t have anything. #begrateful #cookies #betternotbitch #nowdrink
A lady we know had her dog stolen off her front porch. She found it and reported the location to the police. The thieves put a chip into her dog which was easily found. Sad part is that they could not find the chip that she had put into her dog. Therefore, she could not prove that it was her dog in the first place. The other people were allowed to keep her pet that she had for 5 years even though she was able to provide them with pictures and other miscellaneous documentation from the vet and so forth, including proof of the original chip. It’s funny how the world works. This lady’s grieving the loss of a pet that did not die. Totally sad. Nothing we could do for her but hold her hand and help her process the grief of this terrible loss. It’s not going to be a Merry Christmas for Everyone. #itsnotjustapet #notamerrychristmas #lossofapet #nowdrink
Pappy’s sauerkraut did NOT blow up. The fermentation process has been an active one so when we heard the noise; well…you know; we thought Pappy`s creation was unstable. That was just a gunshot in the neighborhood. I guess there was a drive-by. Our neighbors are so playful! So dinner for the New Year’s celebration has been saved. #homemadesauerkraut #drivebyshooting #lifeintheghetto #nowdrink
It finally snowed! It`s beautiful! Merry Christmas or whatever to all and to all a good night! #nowdrink

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